Time for Good News and Fun!

My favorite photo of Justice from Louisville.  She was so very happy!!
Photo by Libbye Miller

In my hiatus from the blog, some good things have happened...

In 2017, Aslan finished three Obedience titles, CD, PCD, and BN (in that order), and his Rally Advanced Excellent title.  In 2018, he finished both of his Novice Agility titles.

Aslan qualified to compete in the 2018 AKC Rally National Championship!  My goal was to qualify in all four courses and not finish last -- though, of course, I hoped we could do better than that :-)  A lot of nervousness on my part and a lack of focus on his part combined for a good number of lost points, but we ended up with 373 out of a possible 400 points, putting us in 56th* place out of 132 qualifiers.

My friend Sherry with her dog Dakota (Aslan's son) were only three points behind and ended up in 61st* place.  Spending the day with them was a wonderful memory. ♡

A couple years ago, I posted about "signs" that Aslan and I were not meant to show in Conformation at that point.  I figured that we would try it again sometime later.  However, last fall, Aslan had an ear hematoma, and his ear is damaged as a result, and thus I believed his chances to show in Conformation were over.  When I mentioned that concern on Facebook, I was encouraged to give it a try anyway.  A damaged ear, unless hanging as on a hound, is not a disqualification.  Several folks shared stories and photos of their damaged-ear dogs earning their Championships.

Spurred on by their motivation, I decided to enter Aslan in the Louisville Regional Specialty.  Though I was disappointed by how poorly we both showed and discouraged that we received no placement, I have not yet given up.

I also entered Justice in Veterans Sweepstakes there as well.  The only dog in the 12 years & over class, she was the oldest dog entered in Vet Sweeps. Even though she didn’t place, I thought she showed beautifully. Most important, she had an absolutely grand time! I was bursting with love & pride, and on our last go-round, I had to fight back the tears. If she's able, we'll do it again next year.

Aslan has been shown three times since then and has picked up Reserve Winners Dog twice (once to a 3-point major), but no points of his own yet.  Trying again in June... fingers crossed!

I have recently begun training Aslan for Open Obedience and Rally Master, and I hope to be able to get some agility training in at the dog club to practice for Open Agility as well.  

Not only is Aslan multi-tasking in various venues, but I am also multi-tasking, as I am training (and/or soon planning to train) multiple dogs in multiple venues: Rally, Obedience, Agility, and Tracking.  I plan to post details of their journeys in upcoming blogs.

Because of the events that happened in April (see my previous post), I was too emotional to take my week-long vacation scheduled for that month.  Now, I have decided to use that to my advantage.  I will be taking small blocks of time off, two to three hours at a time, to train my dogs.  It is such a joy to work with these wonderful canine companions, and we are going to have a blast!

Annnnd, our office is closed for a week in June, which means more free time for training!  Did I mention that we are going to have a blast? 🙋

I'd love to read your comments about what you enjoy doing with your dogs.  Please share!

Cherish your dogs,
MDW

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* Screenshots of the final results on the day of the RNC showed Aslan in 55th and Dakota in 60th; a later download of results from the AKC website listed 56th and 60th places, respectively.  (I did not go back through the list to see if I could determine why the results had changed.)

Aslan, July 2018

The Lost Art of Apology

Hello there!

I just realized it has been over a year since my last post here -- YIKES!  Writing is cathartic for me, so I should aspire to post here more.
  
It has been, as most years, a period of ups and downs.  It feels like mostly downs, though, especially recently.  

Phantom

At the end of March, I made a late-night trip to the emergency vet with Phantom, and he didn't come home. 💔  Vet suspected sepsis or cancer.  I wish I'd asked for a necropsy, but in the emotion of the moment -- the shock that Phantom was gone -- it did not occur to me.  

Spirit (photo by Phyllis Ensley Photography)

In mid April, I made the decision to take Spirit for her final vet visit.  I had so hoped she would make it to her 15th birthday, but just over a month was too long to make her wait for some human-observed anniversary.  When I came home from work that day, she seemed a little brighter as she got up to come greet me, and I thought, "maybe not today."  Then she laid back down and looked at me, and I felt her telling me, "I'm tired."  I knew I couldn't delay the decision.  Two dogs away to The Rainbow Bridge in twenty days. 💔

Between those two heartbreaks, I suffered a human-delivered heartbreak, the event that triggered the writing of this blog post.

How many times have you had your feelings hurt?  Many, I would venture to guess.  How many times have you been apologized to?  Did you then forgive the person and move on?  Or was it "too little, too late" and your friendship severed beyond repair?  

How many times have you not received an apology at all?  What did you do?  Forgive anyway, or "No Way!"?

As much as I often say, "I hate people," I would never -- EVER -- intentionally hurt another person.  And if I knew that I had unintentionally hurt someone, I hope I'm a good enough person to say, "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I admit it:  I'm a Caspar Milquetoast.  I let myself get walked all over, again and again.  Because I despise and fear conflict, I never tell people when they have hurt my feelings. The pain rides around in my soul, and I usually distance myself from the person for a while.  

The self-examination that comes with this writing also leads me to the conclusion that part of the reason I don't tell someone when they've hurt my feelings is that I am trying to spare their feelings; if they don't realize what they've done, opening the issue might hurt them.  

Eventually, I realize that they have no idea what they have done -- that it is my problem, not theirs -- and I forgive them and myself.  

The above scenario has happened numerous times with one particular friend.  Thinking that I knew her well enough, I thought "surely she didn't mean it that way," and I let it go.  Over and over.  You'd think I'd learn, right?  Nope, not ol' Caspar here.  

Then, in early April, she hurt me more than I thought I could be hurt.  Someone can say that I'm ugly or fat, and though I might be stung, I can usually laugh it off.  But the insult she delivered to me will echo in my mind forever.  Though I won't post her words here, I will say that it involved my dogs.  

Surprisingly (or maybe not), I did not hear from her right afterward... I thought she would call or e-mail an apology, ask if I was okay...  Certainly she saw me sobbing as I walked to my car?  

Obviously not, as the next time I saw her, she greeted me like nothing had ever happened.  She was spared my scathing reply because there was a mutual friend present, whom I didn't want to put in the middle of it.  (Yeah, yeah, I know.  Sigh.)

Finally I decided that I would not repeat my past mistakes.  This time I would get it all out in the open, and I sent her a message outlining exactly how I felt. ... 

...

...

Crickets.

...

...

I suppose at this point I will never receive an apology.  I'm not asking her to say that her opinion is wrong; all I wanted was an acknowledgement that her words deeply hurt me.  I also suppose that it doesn't matter; our friendship has been irreparably severed.  

More self-examination makes me wonder if I apologize enough.  If I make a mistake at work, I apologize and then fix it if possible.  When someone points out that I have hurt them, I feel terrible about it, and I sincerely apologize.  

I think apology is becoming a lost art... like common sense and common courtesy.  How do you handle it when you feel you are owed an apology that doesn't come?  Do you personally apologize when asked?  Do you apologize even if you are not asked?  

Could I or should I do more?  I don't know.

Do I want to know?  I'm not sure about that.  I think I want to be told if I need to apologize.  Sometimes, though, it's true that ignorance is bliss.  

In any case, I thank God for all of my wonderful dogs who help me dry the tears they don't understand.  Dogs, unlike we humans, have nothing to apologize for.

Cherish your dogs,
MDW

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Stay tuned... I'm already working on another new post.  I promise it will be more upbeat and dogcentric ;-)

               Spirit, approx. 2 yrs. old

Puppy Phantom