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| Magic |
STARTING OVER
Someone posted on the obedience list about the tragic loss of a not-quite-3-year-old dog. This was her Novice A dog, and they were near the proofing stage of utility training. The dog's breeder had a 6-month-old pup who needed rehomed, and this lady took him. She was questioning her ability to start over with this new dog. As I read her post and the responses and considered how I might reply, I came to a startling realization about myself, and here is what I posted in reply:
Cindy, first let me tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. So tragic! I know from personal experience that to not feel guilty is easier said than done, but please, please, don't blame yourself because YOU did nothing wrong!
I also want to thank you for posting, because your e-mail and some of the responses have opened my eyes........ I joined this list a while back in hopes that I would soon have a dog ready to compete in obedience again, but after all this time, I have rarely posted because I have not even started with another dog. Not since Magic..........
Magic, my very first Belgian (Terv), came to me in 1996. I had a small training/pet sitting business at the time, and Magic became my demo dog. Because she had some fear issues, I never dreamed that we would be able to compete in trials, but when she was about 6 yo, I took her to a basic obedience class at a training club. She could easily have tested out of the class, as I had started her on those exercises when she was 8 weeks old ;-) But I didn't want her to have to learn new obedience skills. I wanted her to be able to use those things she was an "old hand" at to help her overcome her insecurities. The only thing she had to learn in this class was that people were really not that scary ;-) And she did! Right about the same time that we finished this class, I got my second Belgian (Sheepdog), 5 yo Dickens. He loves everybody and has zero fear issues, so between the class and Dickens' good influence, Magic became a new dog, and we began to compete.
Magic and Dickens were my first ever competition dogs. They were soooo different <lol>. Dickens just didn't see the logic of heeling patterns. "Mom, it's much faster if I cut across and meet you over at the corner." Oh yeah, we lost lots of points on off-lead heeling <sigh>. However, he wouldn't even think about breaking a stay. The only time I remember him breaking a stay was at an outdoor trial; he jumped up so suddenly that I think something may have bitten him :-0 [Dickens is my most obedient dog, but he's not much of an "obedience dog" <lol>] He did get his CD reasonably quickly (but I won't even tell you what our last score was <blush>), and then I retired him from competition. Magic, on the other hand, was beautiful in everything she did EXCEPT stays. I received many, many compliments on her heeling and our teamwork, but in all the times I showed her, she only held one complete sit-stay. She would look down the row of dogs one direction, then look the other direction, then get up and come straight to me.
I was disappointed, yes, but also so happy that she had overcome so much to even be able to compete. The most frustrating weekend was a 3-day-show where we *would have* had a second place, a third place, and been in a run-off for first place with a 196.5--IF she had held her stays. Oh well.
Magic injured her back a week before her 10th birthday, so we never were able to obtain that elusive CD, but I'll never forget what a great obedience partner she was. She's been gone two years (as of July 15). That means it has been four years since I did any "serious" obedience with any of my dogs, though I keep saying that I'm gonna...
Your post, Cindy, and some of the replies have opened my eyes to the fact that I am afraid--yes, afraid--to start working with another dog. You said, "So, I would like to train him for obedience, but it is so hard to even think about it. I needed so much help with Loki, since it was all new. And will I enjoy it with another dog? Will I be able to do it again?" Those words made me realize that I'm afraid of so many things: Will I compare my next competition dog to Magic? What if they don't measure up to Magic? Or worse, what if they're better than Magic--will I feel disloyal to her memory? My answer to anyone who asked me these questions would be that it's okay to move on; it doesn't mean you love the other dog any less. Yet, I didn't see this barrier in myself until now.
So I thank all of you who have posted on this thread, for helping me realize my fears. Magic overcame her fears. For her memory's sake, I can do no less.
Get ready, Justice, we've got some training to do....
Cindy, first let me tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. So tragic! I know from personal experience that to not feel guilty is easier said than done, but please, please, don't blame yourself because YOU did nothing wrong!
I also want to thank you for posting, because your e-mail and some of the responses have opened my eyes........ I joined this list a while back in hopes that I would soon have a dog ready to compete in obedience again, but after all this time, I have rarely posted because I have not even started with another dog. Not since Magic..........
Magic, my very first Belgian (Terv), came to me in 1996. I had a small training/pet sitting business at the time, and Magic became my demo dog. Because she had some fear issues, I never dreamed that we would be able to compete in trials, but when she was about 6 yo, I took her to a basic obedience class at a training club. She could easily have tested out of the class, as I had started her on those exercises when she was 8 weeks old ;-) But I didn't want her to have to learn new obedience skills. I wanted her to be able to use those things she was an "old hand" at to help her overcome her insecurities. The only thing she had to learn in this class was that people were really not that scary ;-) And she did! Right about the same time that we finished this class, I got my second Belgian (Sheepdog), 5 yo Dickens. He loves everybody and has zero fear issues, so between the class and Dickens' good influence, Magic became a new dog, and we began to compete.
Magic and Dickens were my first ever competition dogs. They were soooo different <lol>. Dickens just didn't see the logic of heeling patterns. "Mom, it's much faster if I cut across and meet you over at the corner." Oh yeah, we lost lots of points on off-lead heeling <sigh>. However, he wouldn't even think about breaking a stay. The only time I remember him breaking a stay was at an outdoor trial; he jumped up so suddenly that I think something may have bitten him :-0 [Dickens is my most obedient dog, but he's not much of an "obedience dog" <lol>] He did get his CD reasonably quickly (but I won't even tell you what our last score was <blush>), and then I retired him from competition. Magic, on the other hand, was beautiful in everything she did EXCEPT stays. I received many, many compliments on her heeling and our teamwork, but in all the times I showed her, she only held one complete sit-stay. She would look down the row of dogs one direction, then look the other direction, then get up and come straight to me.
I was disappointed, yes, but also so happy that she had overcome so much to even be able to compete. The most frustrating weekend was a 3-day-show where we *would have* had a second place, a third place, and been in a run-off for first place with a 196.5--IF she had held her stays. Oh well.
Magic injured her back a week before her 10th birthday, so we never were able to obtain that elusive CD, but I'll never forget what a great obedience partner she was. She's been gone two years (as of July 15). That means it has been four years since I did any "serious" obedience with any of my dogs, though I keep saying that I'm gonna...
Your post, Cindy, and some of the replies have opened my eyes to the fact that I am afraid--yes, afraid--to start working with another dog. You said, "So, I would like to train him for obedience, but it is so hard to even think about it. I needed so much help with Loki, since it was all new. And will I enjoy it with another dog? Will I be able to do it again?" Those words made me realize that I'm afraid of so many things: Will I compare my next competition dog to Magic? What if they don't measure up to Magic? Or worse, what if they're better than Magic--will I feel disloyal to her memory? My answer to anyone who asked me these questions would be that it's okay to move on; it doesn't mean you love the other dog any less. Yet, I didn't see this barrier in myself until now.
So I thank all of you who have posted on this thread, for helping me realize my fears. Magic overcame her fears. For her memory's sake, I can do no less.
Get ready, Justice, we've got some training to do....
Several years ago, someone friended me on Facebook, and she asked me if I still had Magic. She said that she remembered "what a perfect obedience dog she was... except for her stays (haha)." This was someone that I had met only one weekend at an obedience trial several years before, and she remembered my Magic--my precious baby girl who never even got a single leg towards a CD. But someone had remembered her. I sobbed like a baby.
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